Selflessness, A Key To Freedom
What I would like to describe in this post is a way of more directly accessing experience that decreases self focus and increases vitality in relationship and life.
This is only one of many ways of interfacing with life and does not exclude the richness to be found in other approaches.
If you are like me, you spend a lot of time thinking about your life. How will things turn out? Am I doing it right? What do I need to get done today? What do people think of me?
Or maybe you have a background train of thought that rushes in at 3am, blowing right through the station and taking you for a restless ride. These thoughts all have the feel of coming from me and being about my experience. They reference only a very small aspect of what it means to be me. If, like me, you ever wonder why you feel so constrained by life, this is part of the reason why. This self-absorption puts a strangle hold on humans.
When we are thinking about life we insert ourselves into it. When we are there in life without thought about it, the feeling of our self fades to the background and there is just our experience. Much less to be defended against and more space left open to the grandeur of existence. It’s the difference you may have felt today between being absorbed in one conversation and being concerned about what to say in another.
But words can only go so far here and so If I may, I’ll invite you to connect with your life in this way for a few moments.
Begin by noticing your breathing. Follow the breathe from the tip of your nose and front of your mouth to the bottom of your abdomen. Feel the air enter from the space around you. Now feel the air go out from your body to the space around you. Notice your inherent connection between the movement of your breathe and the air. As you stay with this merging of breathe and air, feel the temperature of the air on your skin. Any breeze, coolness or warmth. See if you can let go of the idea of where the edges of your body are and feel the mingling of temperature air and body as one unified sensation. Now, let the sounds happening just appear on their own. Notice that you don’t have to listen but hearing happens automatically without any effort. Observe where sounds appear. Both at the sides of your head and in the area around you. Now look at your feet. Follow your legs up to your stomach and torso and shoulders and notice that you cannot see your face. What you see instead is a world. A beautiful world where you would expect your head to be. Take a moment to rest your mind open to the great expanse of color, shadow, objects, light. Let the great expanse of what you see just appear. Notice the thoughts your mind may have about it and come back to just observing what is happening in your life at this moment.
When we are this open space of our minds, devoid of self focus and self centered thinking, there is room for our lives to be infused with a quality of connection and engagement that is vitalizing.
It's the difference between learning about snowboarding and rushing down a powered slope. It's the difference between the critique of a painting and a fascination with its artistry.
It’s the difference between studying a map of the mountains and being immersed in the immense wonder of the Cascades. It’s the difference between doubting your capabilities and finding through courageous action that your being is far more equipped than you thought. It’s the difference between being angry at your partner and opening up to listening to their side of things. It’s the difference between an “I love you” said yet another time and a love felt so fully that you lose yourself in it.
This kind of open, selfless presence enables us in relationships to be a less judgmental and preoccupied ally. Can we approach the other with an open heart and mind. Can we see them in a closer and unfiltered way. Life calls us to a greater realization of being, where the kindness for another scintillates in our eyes and reflects the light of so many stars in the vast openness of a beautiful universe.